Introduction: A Father’s Final Task
In an episode of her Perfect Body Podcast, relationship coach Shirah Chante analyzes the biblical story of Abraham’s quest to find a wife for his son, Isaac in Genesis chapters 23-25:18, the Torah portion Chayei Sarah. She uses this ancient narrative to illustrate her central thesis: Your mate is your choice. The host explains that while God may present or appoint a partner, the ultimate decision always requires the personal agreement of the individuals involved. She begins her teaching by setting the scene: after Sarah’s death, an aging Abraham entrusts his most loyal servant with the sacred mission of finding the right wife for his heir, Isaac.
1. The Servant’s Solemn Oath
Shirah Chante begins by detailing the solemn oath Abraham required of his servant. She emphasizes that the specific terms of this oath provide the first piece of evidence for her core argument that human choice is paramount.
- The Prohibition: The servant was commanded not to take a wife for Isaac from among the local Canaanite women.
- The Destination: Instead, he was to travel to Abraham’s own country and find a wife from his kindred.
- The Condition: The host highlights the crucial condition the servant asked about: what to do if the woman was not willing to return with him. Abraham’s answer was clear: the servant would be free from the oath. As Shirah Chante points out, “Abraham is acknowledging that, hey, this woman has her own will… she has to desire, she has to want to come.”
The host frames this condition not as a minor detail, but as Abraham’s foundational acknowledgment that the potential wife’s personal choice would be the deciding factor.
2. A Prayer for a Divine Sign
Upon arriving at a spring near Abraham’s hometown, the servant devised a plan to seek God’s guidance. Shirah Chante explains that the servant’s prayer was not for a sign of beauty or wealth, but for a sign of character. He asked God for a specific test: that the appointed woman would not only offer him a drink, but would also voluntarily offer to draw water for all ten of his camels. The host focuses on the substance of this sign, noting that it was a test of generosity, kindness, and a helpful spirit—the very traits that would mark her as the right person.
Before the servant could even finish his prayer, Shirah Chante notes, a young woman named Rebecca arrived at the well.
3. The Test at the Well
Shirah Chante narrates the sequence of events as a swift and direct answer to the servant’s prayer, confirming that Rebecca was the one God had appointed.
- Rebecca’s Arrival: Rebecca, who was of Abraham’s own family, appeared “before he had finished speaking.”
- The Encounter: The servant ran to meet her and asked for a drink, and Rebecca responded with immediate kindness.
- The Sign Fulfilled: Her actions perfectly matched the specific details of the servant’s prayer, confirming God’s choice. Shirah Chante emphasizes how Rebecca’s generous spirit was the exact sign requested.
| The Servant’s Prayer Request | Rebecca’s Actions |
| “Let the young woman to whom I shall say, ‘please let down your jar that I may drink’…” | “…She said, ‘drink my Lord,’ and she quickly let down her jar upon her hand and gave him a drink.” |
| “…and who shall say ‘Drink, and I will water your camels also’…” | “…she said, ‘I will draw water for your camels also until they have finished drinking.’” |
- The Confirmation: After learning Rebecca was from his master’s family, the servant bowed his head and worshipped, thanking God for leading him so directly.
With this divine confirmation, the servant proceeded to meet Rebecca’s family, setting the stage for the next crucial test of his mission.
4. The Family’s Response
Shirah Chante recounts how the servant explained his entire mission to Rebecca’s father, Bethuel, and her brother, Laban. Upon hearing how God had led the servant directly to Rebecca, their response was immediate. The host quotes their conclusion: “The thing has come from the Lord. We cannot speak to you bad or good.”
She presents their reaction as the ideal model for how people should respond when God’s will is made clear—by stepping aside and not interfering. To illustrate the importance of this, she contrasts their faithful response with painful experiences from her own life. God had twice shown her a vision of a man He had chosen for her, and in both cases, the man approached her pastor to inquire about her. The pastor, unlike Rebecca’s family, intervened and convinced both men that she was not the one for them, derailing what God had initiated.
Shirah Chante emphasizes that while the family’s blessing was a crucial step in honoring God’s will, it was not the final one; the ultimate decision, she argues, had to come from Rebecca herself.
5. Rebecca’s Decisive Choice
When the servant was eager to return the next day, Rebecca’s family asked her to stay for another ten days. To resolve the matter, they all agreed on the final step: “Let us call the young woman and ask her.” The host presents this moment as the climactic proof of her thesis. The entire mission, guided by God and blessed by her family, now rested on a single choice made by one woman.
They called Rebecca and said to her, “Will you go with this man?” She said, “I’ll go.”
For the host, Rebecca’s simple, powerful answer is the ultimate demonstration that divine appointment must be met with human agreement.
6. Conclusion: A Journey of Faith Concludes
Rebecca’s decisive “I’ll go” sealed the success of the servant’s journey. Shirah Chante concludes her analysis by tying the themes of the story back to her central message and her own life lessons. She ends her podcast with a prayer that her listeners will not allow the opinions of others to override what God has shown them in their own relationships. The primary takeaways from her teaching are clear:
- Divine Will requires Human Agreement: God may present or appoint a person for you, but as Rebecca’s story shows, that person must still agree. You have to say “yes.”
- The Danger of Interference: The correct response to God’s clear guidance is to, like Rebecca’s family, not “speak bad or good.” As the host’s personal stories illustrate, human interference can derail God’s plan.
- The Power of Personal Choice: Despite divine signs and family blessings, the final, non-negotiable step was Rebecca’s own decision. Ultimately, your mate is your choice.
Listen to the entire podcast Chayei Sarah: Your Mate is Your Choice here on Perfect Body podcast by Shirah Chante, your relationship coach.