The first and most liberating truth is that even the very best of relationships are going to have ups and downs. This idea runs counter to everything we’ve been taught about romantic success, but embracing it is the key to genuine connection. The expectation of a constant, unwavering “even keel” sets an impossible standard. Life itself is a series of fluctuations, and to expect our relationships to be immune to this rhythm is to set them up for failure.
Furthermore, a perpetually smooth journey would not only be unrealistic; it would be profoundly boring. The peaks are only meaningful because of the valleys; the bumps in the road are precisely what prevent the journey from becoming a flat, monotonous line. Accepting that fluctuation is a natural and even necessary part of a shared life and is the foundational step toward building a partnership that is not just stable, but truly resilient. But these fluctuations don’t just arise from within the partnership. More often, they are imposed by a world that is anything but smooth.
God bless, Shirah Chante, your relationship coach
PS+Watch Life’s Seesaw_ Navigating Ups and Downs for inspiration to make it work.